There was a time in my life when I was told something fundamental about me needed to be fixed.

Not adjusted.
Not understood.

Fixed.

The System

I was deeply involved in the LDS Church and trying to reconcile being both Mormon and gay.

The solution presented to me was corrective therapy.

It was framed as help.

But in practice, it was something else.

What Happened

The methods used weren’t grounded in understanding.

They were based on the assumption that something was wrong.

I was guided through experiences that:

• reduced my sense of self
• introduced confusion instead of clarity
• treated identity as a problem to solve

At one point, a therapist suggested that my identity was the result of a lack of connection—and attempted to address it in ways that crossed boundaries.

Looking back, it was not care.

It was harm.

The Pattern

This isn’t limited to one organization.

It’s a broader system pattern:

When institutions define a narrow version of what is acceptable, anything outside of it becomes a target for correction.

That’s where harm begins.

This Isn’t Just the Past

It would be easy to see this as something that used to happen.

But it isn’t.

We’re seeing renewed attempts to reintroduce these same ideas—often framed differently, but built on the same assumption: that identity can and should be corrected.

In places like Colorado, there have been efforts to challenge protections and reopen space for these approaches again.

The language changes.

The pattern doesn’t.

What I Saw Firsthand

I spent two years inside a program called Evergreen.

It functioned similarly to a 12-step model, built around the idea that something fundamental needed to be changed.

We were called “strugglers.”

The goal was resolution through correction.

But something consistent happened.

Over time, every person I knew in that program reached the same conclusion:

There was nothing to fix.

One by one, they left—not just the program, but the belief system around it—and chose to live aligned with who they actually were.

Not because they were convinced otherwise.

Because clarity replaced pressure.

The Turning Point

There came a point where the question shifted.

Not:

“How do I fix this?”

But:

“Why is this being treated as something broken?”

That shift changed everything.

What Became Clear

There was nothing wrong with me.

The system I was in couldn’t accommodate who I was.

That’s a different problem.

🔄 2026 Update

This experience directly informs how I think about human systems.

When systems attempt to override identity, they:

• create harm
• reduce autonomy
• force people into roles that don’t fit

Better systems should:

• support variation
• respect identity
• adapt to people—not force people to adapt to them

Key Insights

• Harm often comes from systems, not individuals
• Identity should not be treated as something to fix
• Mismatch between person and system creates unnecessary suffering
• Autonomy is essential for wellbeing

Guardian Application

A Guardian system could help detect when these patterns are re-emerging.

Instead of reinforcing external definitions, it could:

• recognize when environments are causing identity conflict
• support the user without judgment or correction pressure
• guide users toward safer, more aligned systems
• reinforce autonomy during periods of external pressure

The goal isn’t to define who someone should be.

It’s to help them remain aligned with who they already are.